I’ve been obsessed with Adam Reed and Matt Thompson since Space Ghost Coast to Coast. I basically memorized every episode of Sealab 2021. “Mustache on!” “Too bad!” They are two of the wittiest, most clever, and most irreverently funny modern animation writers around. So, when I heard they were no longer trolling the late nights of obscurity on Cartoon Network’s Adult Swim, but had in fact, graduated to prime time on a real network, I was so pleased for them! But, due to a series of unfortunate events, I never got to catch Archer, season 1, when it first aired. Bummer.

Enter Netflix, always saving me from myself. Archer, season 1, is now available on streaming, so I partook. I made snacks, grabbed a pal, and settled in for a three and a half hour marathon of what I was hoping was going to be genius television.  And while Archer had many fine qualities, it wasn’t the home run I was looking for.

I expected that Reed and Thompson’s gonzo attitude and edgy animation would translate into mainstream, but all going network did for them was give them anemia. There’s something about this 22-minute, plot-driven format that doesn’t quite work for me. I keep wanting the script to be sharper, the comedy to be more absurd, the action written to the act breaks. But what I got was a watered down version of all of that. The plots felt lazy to me, sort of what you expect from season 4 of a successful show, after the story editor is tired and doesn’t care anymore, not the first season. A Training Day parody as a pilot? I mean, seriously? This from the team who created Frisky Dingo’s Killface? “We can’t ever go back to Arizona!” I just kept hoping for more, and yet, every episode for me was about a B-; enough to pass the class respectably, but not enough that you should really be proud of yourself.

The reckless comedic spirit of Reed and Thompson’s work I had come to admire, so very much, was woefully lacking for me in Archer. All that remained of their former glory were a few snickers here, a couple of chuckles there from their well-crafted, and interesting supporting cast but that isn’t enough for me when the over-arching story is a lame-duck. While Aisha Tyler is simply adorably aggressive, and her “Noooooooope!” will live on for me as something I will say to amuse myself while in line at the grocery store, the dialogue was simply lacking the lasting impact I wanted as a whole.

Another issue for me was there is a thin line between a wink and coattail riding. Everyone with any taste loves Jessia Walter. I mean, what’s not to love? For nearly 50-years, she has miraculously turned the horrible, abusive, drunken mother into a loveable creature through her cruel jabs and honed matriarchal hatred. And in no other role was she quite so magnificent as the evil mommy dearest in Arrested Development. Playing opposite Jeffrey Tambor, the two created televisual magic as the worst parents in America. Reunited on Archer, along with Judy Greer, (Arrested Development’s Kitty) it’s hard not to draw a comparison… especially when Arrested Development is winning. Jessica Walter’s Malory reads as a light-weight Lucille Bluth and that’s just a one-note shame. Reed and Thompson took the best, nuanced, hilarious work Jessica Walter has ever done and distilled it down to a watery-gin-soaked tomb. I wanted more than just to rest on 16 and be satisfied that I get to spend some quality time with Jessica Walter, but rather wanted to be dazzled by her presence. And for me, this re-pairing of the Bluths and Kitty should be more than just Arrest Development lite, with half the calories and a 1/3 of the taste.

The bottom line, this isn’t a terrible show. It is, actually, pretty good in comparison to all the other crap currently on the air right now. And boy is there a lot of crap! But it’s sorta like when George Harrison used to put out solo work. Yeah, it’s good, but it’s not as good as what you know he’s capable of. That’s how I felt about Archer. I was totally hoping for more at every joke but was left with a caseload of underwhelmed.

Follow me on Miso for more of What I’m Watching on TV.

Follow me on Twitter for as many shades of toenail polish as there are periodic elements.

When my friend Zac got on Miso, and started checking in to whatever he was watching, I thought how cool!! Now finally social networking for something I care about… television! I joined up, had my Miso linked to my Twitter and Facebook, and suddenly Covermyscript was watching TV for fun and profit… the profit was in my abs, chiseled by the power of laughter. Win!

On Saturday, Netflix told me I was missing out on CBC’s Trailer Park Boys. Well, Netflix to the rescue again! What a surprise treat.

Trailer Park Boys, is like The Canadian Office in a trailer park. It’s white trash awesome! And this mockumentary series is still capturing Canadian hearts, eyeballs and dollars, after eight years. In fact, the feature film sequel out in 2010, was the highest grossing film in Canada last year. Trailer Park Boys‘ Mike Clattenburg created some of the most interesting, rich, pathologically stupid characters I’ve ever enjoyed spending time with.

The series surrounds Julian, Ricky and Bubbles, three life-long friends, who are always trying to do the right thing the wrong way. That, to me, is really what makes this show likable. It’s not a 22-minute romp on the Jerry Springer set with no rationale behind it other than sheer exploitation. Rather, it’s about “real” people who love their families and community, and go try to provide for them the only way they know how… by stealing or growing dope.

It’s got a Cartoon Network Adult Swim vibe to it, which makes it all the more familiar yet inventive.  With Trailer Park Boys‘ sardonic humor, genuine heart, and the best never-ending flow of great low-class malapropisms since Voltaire, this series is one, exciting “hillabilly” adventure after another.

With 8-episode seasons, and seven seasons to watch, it took me a marathon three days to get through all the episodes, two movies and a Christmas special. While the movies didn’t have the same energy or success for me the series did, since there were so many episodes, I could just go back and re watch them again to death.

Thanks be to Netflix, you just found me my new favorite show. Follow me on Miso to see what else I’m watching.

When I was 8, my step-mother, concerned that the 10 hours a day of television I was consuming was probably too many, made a declaration: only 8 hours a day. That meant that I had to choose what to watch, not just watch everything that was on! Well, Godbless her for trying, but it didn’t work. I grew up to be a TV writing TV junkie.

Yes folks, I write television and I watch television and that’s how it should be. Writers should know what is out there, what works, what shows are thriving and why. Also, I haven’t ever had a pitch meeting that didn’t start with “What are you watching, Xandy?” I’m never at a loss for an answer and it always works as an easy ice breaker. When you watch or know something about everything on TV, chances are, you’re watching one show the development exec is watching.

I didn’t watch TV as much as I consumed it, like every book I read (1000′s), and from every episode of Love Boat I watched, I learned a little something about story structure and character development. It’s surprising but true. Think of it as an apprenticeship; TV taught me to write. But, TV was totally in charge; telling me what to watch and when to watch it. Then I discovered that my beloved Tivo was in cahoots with TV; pushing me around telling me stuff was being deleted and that I had to hurry up and watch. I had become a slave to my truest love, and I was growing to resent it.

I, the ambassador to TV Junkie Town, decided I was fed up with how television was treating me…  So I started an experiment; can a TV Junkie not actually watch a television and still view all of their favorite and new shows on the internet? And to begin this 2 month journey I took an unthinkable step. I canceled cable.

How is life without TV during Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years? Strangely adequate. Granted, I didn’t get my local programming, or Thanksgiving Day parade, but it turns out, the internet rocks! Who knew?! Everything I ever wanted to see and more from official youtube channels to network websites, is up, available and ready for my compulsive viewing pleasure.

How does this saucy writer fill her internet TV Days? Here’s what I’m watching:

Peep Show

No, it’s not dirty, it’s the best British comedy you’re likely not watching. It’s an “Odd Couple” show with quirky POV camera work and Voice Over. Mark and Jeremy are best mates from college who are still sharing a London flat well into their 30′s and while Mark is stiff, uptight and generally a rule follower, Jeremy is the total opposite: a rock god in his own mind. This comedy is dark, hilarious and altogether the best show you’re probably not watching. Peep Show “I fucking love you!”

Hell’s Kitchen

I love Hell’s Kitchen. Gordo is so totally my boyfriend. He’s only got about 60 shows currently on all over the world so, so between Fox and BBC, they’ve got me covered on all the streaming screaming from his hot kitchens and it’s so wonderful. I have also been able to catch some Kitchen Nightmares, The F Word and some hour-long Cookalong Live deal. Oh Gordo, I just can’t get enough of your furrowed brow, and thanks to the internet, I can order you up for delivery. Ahh,  instant gratification tastes so good.

South Park

Okay, I have a lot of boyfriends. I love Trey Parker too. I told you I’m a junkie; I get around. Truthfully, South Park is simply just excellent TV. Trey Parker knocks out those scripts in a week, then they have like three minutes before it has to air to animate it. I am impressed with what they have accomplished and I revere him as a screenwriter. His episodes are not only topical and timely but also brilliantly well written. At South Park Studios, you can watch all of the new episodes as well as any from the prior 14 seasons. There’s nothing better than going down to South Park, to have myself a time. And now I can do it from anywhere. It’s awesome.

Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace

The series’ fictional premise: in the 1980s, best-selling horror author Garth Marenghi and his publisher/publicist, Dean Learner, made their own low-budget television series. It was bad, really bad. If you like incredibly quirky and meta shows, check it, Dark Place “from your bean bag chair, if that’s how you choose to live your life,” and watch “the greatest televisual event since Quantum Leap” and I don’t say that lightly.

The Tonight Show

I mentioned that it’s hard sometimes with current events to watch as things are airing live, and that’s true but I managed to see Conan’s last show before it aired in LA. The second the east coast airing was done, Gawker.tv had it up and ready for streaming. The quality was excellent and it was segmented so I could jump around. It wasn’t live, but even if I still had TV, I probably would’ve watched it when I got up or a day later anyway, so this totally worked out. Now the full last episode is up on Hulu.com, where you can watch it in its entirety.

In terms of animation, I’m watching all the same stuff I was watching before, Family Guy, The Simpsons, The Cleveland Show, American Dad except I’m now watching them all on Hulu.com. There’s a couple of commercials but nothing egregious, the video quality is excellent and they have the current 5 episodes up there at all times. Some older shows have more. It’s not the greatest, if I want to see something old, but between Hulu.com and AdultSwim.com, they got me covered.

Adult Swim also has their entire Sunday Night Stoner Lineup online for viewing. Metalocolypse, The Venture Brothers, Robot Chicken. They’re all on there, as well as King of the Hill if you’re looking for gentle bedtime programming.

For a blast from the past, I decided to watch all of the Night Gallery episodes. There’s four seasons up on Hulu, but they’re mostly terrible. Rod Serling is my hero and my God and I have to support his work, even if most of it is dreadful. But it’s campy and sometimes cool, so check them out. I also watched all of The Twilight Zone episodes available, but they’re limited on CBS.com. I’ve seen them all 1000 times, but I still love to hear Burgess Meredith scream “But there was time now!”

Just so I don’t loose touch with my reality TV series, I watch The Soup. Joel McHale gives me the best 22 minutes of gut-busting laughter ever. The only bad part of the show is when it’s over. The player is a little buggy, but the show is so funny, it’s totally worth any hassle.

So, here I am, three months with no cable and I have to say, I don’t miss it. I feel satisfied that I’m watching everything I want to be watching and anything I forget about, I’m probably not missing anyway.

Sometimes it’s boring watching movie after movie, and being online doesn’t give off the same energy as watching TV. TV has a repetitive rhythm that I have come to find soothing after all these years, but with all of my favorite series up online, plus a dirth of other video entertainment consumables, there’s enough going on to keep my eyeballs busy until eternity.

Why buy the cow, when you can get the milk for free? So long, cable!