Category: Writing

February 19th, 2010

Getting Away From Your Desk: Screenwriting in the Wild

Screenwriting, well any writing really, is a loner sport. It’s for thinkers, for watchers, for journalists of the human condition. It’s just the way it is. Even most writers who sit in a writers’ room and are forced to work together, still pretty much don’t like people as much as they like writing about people. And where you write is almost as important as what you’re writing.

I recently set up my home office. I moved late last year and I just never got around to creating a proper workspace. So, when I finally was forced into really unpacking and setting up my desk, I wasn’t sure what to do with it. I wanted it to be very me, but it also needed to be functional and inspiring. I filled my desk area with eclectic thrift store findings, candles, a mug of my face that my mother made filled with a bouquet of craft scissors, loads of colorful clutter, each item with a meaning, each item providing inspiration.

But eventually my recluse ways are invariably encroached upon. Sometimes I have social or work engagements, but mostly I venture out when I’m blocked. There’s nothing like participating in the world to find the solution to your story. I’ve often said that 90% of writing is napping. Well, after you’ve done the napping and you’ve got your story, and the words just aren’t flowing, that’s when I say take your act on the road. Try writing on location.

In L.A., it’s the vogue thing, to go to Starbucks to pound out your Magnum Opus, but as far as I’m concerned, that’s a trite behavior. To really write is to think, to hear your inner voice, to channel a character’s pain and translate that into palpable text. How can you do all of that important work, while listening to a grinder gnash beans incessantly, loud teenaged girls snapping their gum and ordering embarrassingly complicated coffee drinks, and people yapping on their Bluetooth cyborg earbuds? You simply can’t. Real writers don’t write in Starbucks, people who want to be seen writing, write in Starbucks.

For my money, I like to write in bars. If I feel like I’ve been cooped up too long, and my facial tick has gone completely out of control, I pack up my laptop and head for my bar. “The Bucket of Blood” is perfect for writing. There are only a handful of ever-drunk and very quiet, afternoon regulars there during the day, which makes for a peaceful working environment. Their TV’s are on mute, and the service is excellent, mostly because the cute blonde bartender has the preternatural ability to know exactly when I want something and when I want to be left alone. It’s a great place to have a drink, look at your story and really take stock of what you have in a new environment. Usually somewhere between drinks two and three, an hour into rugby, and half an order of bangers and mash later, I get the perspective or inspiration I was missing.

I had been working in my bar the day of the last Screenwriter Karaoke, when I got stuck. I was stuck on a plot point, which is what drove me to the bar in the first place. Three martinis, two diet cokes, some potato skins and four hours later, and I was no closer to solving my problem. I figured, as I was already toasty, why not go drink away my troubles with my compatriots, with other screenwriters?

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February 11th, 2010

Happy Endings Not Just For Massage Parlors Anymore

Well, Bob, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve seen Office Space, mostly because I’ve lost count. And another thing, Bob, I can’t recall a week since I bought the DVD where I didn’t watch it. It is to me as TPS reports were to Peter’s 8 bosses my only reason to live.

Not really, but I do really like the film. I like it because it’s simple and comforting, not necessarily because it’s outstanding. It’s mashed potatoes, it’s mac and cheese, it’s mind meatloaf. It’s plated up with a nice vegetable side. Everything works out for Peter as we hoped. He gets the girl, he gets a job where he’s finally happy, Lumbergh is presumably jobless and the evil Initech empire is reduced to so much a pile of soot. And Milton may not have received a piece of cake or been able to keep his stapler, but he had three hundred thousand of Initech’s dollars and a sunny Mexican beach on which to drink. It was a satisfactory resolution for all of those characters; a “happy ending.”

There are many choices when ending your script, and picking the right one is of paramount importance. In a comedy for example, you need to let the audience know that it’s all going to be okay for the main characters. At the end of a drama, the conflict has most likely been resolved, the emotions are still raw, and you want to capture that intense anguish without beating your audience over the head with a leg of lamb. You want just enough subtlety to tug at your heart, but enough nuance to remain sophisticated.

While, of course, some movies do still employ the classic happy ending, most films now go out of their way to choose simple, clean, quirky endings as a way to shine. It’s a writer’s last chance to send their audience out into the lobby, with a bigger and better smile on their face.

A happy ending, to me, is one in which the protagonist satisfactorily completes his journey and has demonstrated growth as a result. He participates in a conclusion that marks the character’s growth with a hint that his future is going to be okay; that we need not worry because this person whom we’ve become so invested in, will thrive in the next phase of his life.

Recently, I saw 500 Days of Summer. I generally hate romantic comedies. But in this case, I was charmed. I liked the notion of telling the story of “the girl before the girl.” Every man has had their heart broken and it is through that pain that they become the men we marry or couple with. I find the story of the woman that helped make my man the man he is, fascinating. To me, this was a wonderfully quirky ending. Tom moved on. He chose to live and thrive. And then, he meets the girl we’re lead to believe is “the girl.” Tom has a happy ending. A classically happy one? No. But a happy one nonetheless.

Before I saw Tootsie, I felt every movie should end with the hero and the heroine driving off together, into the sky, in a cherry red convertible like Grease.

Instead, the ending is this: Michael and Julie stand on a Manhattan sidewalk on a beautiful spring day. His female persona no longer. Julie asks to borrow Michael’s yellow Halston dress. Being cheeky, he refuses to lend it to her. And so he starts to walk down the street away from the camera and Julie follows protesting, and that’s it. They just keep on walking until they vanish into New York, the end credit music lulling us to the final fade out.

Oh what a revelation! You mean to tell me, endings didn’t have to be a magical, Disney-wedding, extravaganza, in 3-D, on ice in order to sell the simple idea of love? It seemed preposterous, yet also plausible.  It doesn’t have to be wrapped up in a nice neat  bow.

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February 2nd, 2010

So Long Genoa City, I’ll Miss You

I’ve been watching The Young and the Restless since before I was born. How is that possible, you ask? My mother watched it while pregnant with me. I know that’s a cheap one, but it counts. I’ve been actively watching it since my birth. How many shows, other than the news, can you say that about?

I watched it my entire childhood. I tuned in throughout my teen years, on those rare occasions when I could convince my parents I was indeed bleeding from my eyes, so I could stay home from school.

When I went to college, I started watching every day. I hadn’t missed a single episode until this past November 2009. On November 30th, Y&R went dark in my house for the first time in my life. It’s been hard on me. Y&R has moved on, but I have not.

I should’ve seen it coming, and even though it was my idea to end our relationship, that doesn’t mean that I’m not grieving. In fact, being apart is almost harder than it was when we were together. I find myself wondering, in the middle of the day, around 11:30am, what Y&R is doing. I wonder if my Genoa City friends are okay, left in the hands of a revolving door writing staff who don’t know the characters past a couple of seasons.

It reminds me of something that happened to me at a WGA function last week. I met a writer staffed on a reboot animation franchise (I can’t say which one, but it was a big one with a flop live action movie.) The offending thing was, while lovely and presumably talented, he didn’t know the history of the show he was working on. He wasn’t a fan. He had never seen or connected to the original incarnation. But like a competent journeyman writer, he cranked out satisfactory scripts regardless of his project knowledge; they had to be good to impress their difficult and demanding Executive Producer.

The thing is this happens. I’m no civilian. I should know better. I know that the turnover a writing staff is. To expect every new staffer to know everything about every character ever in a 35 year history, is fairly ridiculous of me. But in the same way I was so appalled by the TV writer who had never seen the show he was remaking, I was furious with the Y&R staff.

I know who Sharon Newman is, and she is not how the writers have been crafting her. She’s done a total 180 degree turn as a character, and not in a positive, growing sort of way. The writers have lost the real essence of Sharon, what really makes her a character you love, and instead, they’re presenting us a Sharon imposter… which might not have been a bad plotline, but turns out to be the death knell for me as a viewer.

Then about 5 years ago, the show took a strange turn. Concerned that the audience was getting bored with the tried and true Y&R, they decided to make it glamorous, more daring, more like a nighttime soap. That’s the beginning of the end for me.

Y&R has been suffering a snowball effect of bad writing since then. The nighttime soap idea was a disaster. Y&R had their lowest ratings ever. Then there was the writer’s strike. More viewers lost. Then there was the interim staff who just kept things humming, but Y&R was clearly out of tune.

Then, two years ago, like a shining beacon of hope, a Bell was back in charge of Y&R. Maria Arena Bell, the series creators’ granddaughter, was now helming and she was going to reestablish the show and restore it to her grandparents’ legacy. At least that was the hope. CBS was behind her and seeing the Bell name at the top of the show, post credit sequence, was oddly comforting. While we had a bad, mean babysitter looking after us for a while, it almost felt like Mommy had come home from dinner.

And then, things went weird in the writers’ room. The 35 year history of Genoa City was rewritten, character backstory was thrown to the wind. It was like they were bizzaro world clones of their former selves. They did the old plot standards: a murder, a court case, mistaken identity, baby switching, but all the plotlines were ruthlessly dark, bizarre, and seemingly angry without any payoff. There was no pleasure in watching these characters.

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January 25th, 2010

TV on the Web: An Evil Plot to Destory the World?

When I was 8, my step-mother, concerned that the 10 hours a day of television I was consuming was probably too many, made a declaration: only 8 hours a day. That meant that I had to choose what to watch, not just watch everything that was on! Well, Godbless her for trying, but it didn’t work. I grew up to be a TV writing TV junkie.

Yes folks, I write television and I watch television and that’s how it should be. Writers should know what is out there, what works, what shows are thriving and why. Also, I haven’t ever had a pitch meeting that didn’t start with “What are you watching, Xandy?” I’m never at a loss for an answer and it always works as an easy ice breaker. When you watch or know something about everything on TV, chances are, you’re watching one show the development exec is watching.

An Evil Plot

I didn’t watch TV as much as I consumed it, like every book I read (1000’s), and from every episode of Love Boat I watched, I learned a little something about story structure and character development. It’s surprising but true. Think of it as an apprenticeship; TV taught me to write. But, TV was totally in charge; telling me what to watch and when to watch it. Then I discovered that my beloved Tivo was in cahoots with TV; pushing me around telling me stuff was being deleted and that I had to hurry up and watch. I had become a slave to my truest love, and I was growing to resent it.

I, the ambassador to TV Junkie Town, decided I was fed up with how television was treating me…  So I started an experiment; can a TV Junkie not actually watch a television and still view all of their favorite and new shows on the internet? And to begin this 2 month journey I took an unthinkable step. I canceled cable.

How is life without TV during Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Years? Strangely adequate. Granted, I didn’t get my local programming, or Thanksgiving Day parade, but it turns out, the internet rocks! Who knew?! Everything I ever wanted to see and more from official youtube channels to network websites, is up, available and ready for my compulsive viewing pleasure.

How does this saucy writer fill her internet TV Days? Here’s what I’m watching:

Peep Show

No, it’s not dirty, it’s the best British comedy you’re likely not watching. It’s an “Odd Couple” show with quirky POV camera work and Voice Over. Mark and Jeremy are best mates from college who are still sharing a London flat well into their 30’s and while Mark is stiff, uptight and generally a rule follower, Jeremy is the total opposite: a rock god in his own mind. This comedy is dark, hilarious and altogether the best show you’re probably not watching. Peep Show “I fucking love you!”

Hell’s Kitchen

I love Hell’s Kitchen. Gordo is so totally my boyfriend. He’s only got about 60 shows currently on all over the world so, so between Fox and BBC, they’ve got me covered on all the streaming screaming from his hot kitchens and it’s so wonderful. I have also been able to catch some Kitchen Nightmares, The F Word and some hour-long Cookalong Live deal. Oh Gordo, I just can’t get enough of your furrowed brow, and thanks to the internet, I can order you up for delivery. Ahh,  instant gratification tastes so good.

South Park

Okay, I have a lot of boyfriends. I love Trey Parker too. I told you I’m a junkie; I get around. Truthfully, South Park is simply just excellent TV. Trey Parker knocks out those scripts in a week, then they have like three minutes before it has to air to animate it. I am impressed with what they have accomplished and I revere him as a screenwriter. His episodes are not only topical and timely but also brilliantly well written. At South Park Studios, you can watch all of the new episodes as well as any from the prior 14 seasons. There’s nothing better than going down to South Park, to have myself a time. And now I can do it from anywhere. It’s awesome.

Garth Marenghi’s Darkplace

The series’ fictional premise: in the 1980s, best-selling horror author Garth Marenghi and his publisher/publicist, Dean Learner, made their own low-budget television series. It was bad, really bad. If you like incredibly quirky and meta shows, check it, Dark Place “from your bean bag chair, if that’s how you choose to live your life,” and watch “the greatest televisual event since Quantum Leap” and I don’t say that lightly.

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December 15th, 2009

Getting Started in Screenwriting with Xandy Sussan

Recently, I was interviewed on getting started screenwriting in Hollywood at All Freelance Writing.com. Here is a link to the article where I candidly share how I got my start and helpful tips on how to get started yourself. I sincerely hope you enjoy and find this interview resourceful and a fun read.

October 31st, 2009

Avoiding The Six Deadly Script Sins

Written for “Hollywood Scriptwriter Magazine” May 2005

brassfasteners

Your mother always said to wear clean underwear in case you’re in an accident and that you only get one chance to make a good first impression. Well, your mother has found her champion, because I’m here to say, that she’s 100% right.

I can’t stress enough how important first impressions are in the film business. This is an industry where the superficial is king, where creative execs hate to read and their main job function is to say “no”. Getting your script into their hands is your biggest challenge. However, what you might not know is that there’s someone else you need to woo before Mr. or Mrs. Producer will ever see your script.

It doesn’t matter that the executive is your mother’s brother’s uncle’s sister or that he’s your doorman’s brother’s live-
in partner, your script will most certainly be covered by a reader before your executive ever sees page one. A reader is someone who went to film school, is a frustrated writer, either gets paid less than the janitor or is (shudder) an unpaid intern, most likely loathes you because your script is being submitted and tragically has the most say in what the producer sees. If the reader hates something, even the most mundane thing about your script, your opus is sure to be filed under “g” for garbage.

From deciding on font type, to two brads verses three, every choice you make, no matter how big or how small, reflects on you as a writer. It doesn’t seem fair, but that’s “Chinatown , Jake”.

Of course there are the superheroes you read about, the writer who landed a deal in his underwear from a script written on napkins. But that’s an extraordinary case and is most likely not you. If you’re trying to get your foot in the door and you weren’t born into Aaron Spelling’s clan, try not to aggravate the same people you want to win over.

The first rule in making a good impression is to do things the right way. Even though it seems like ridiculous minutia, straying from the industry standard incurs an immediate pass.

That means:

Always use three-hole punch paper, bound with two, 1½” brass fasteners. Not three, always two. I don’t care that the pages turn better with three. If you use brads that are longer than 1½”, they can stab the reader while the analyst evaluates your script and nothing makes them hate you more than a work related injury.

Do not use colored or specialty covers for your script. It shows that it didn’t come from a proper representative. Your rep will have the right cover to adorn your script. No bad script was ever sold because it had a flashy cover. Focus on the writing.

Courier 12. There should be no clever fonts ever! Not on the cover page, not in the body of the script and not on the back. No one ever got ahead using a clever font. All it does is make people think that you spent more time on the font than you did on the story.

Proofread. There is no reason to have a typo on page one. It’s just inexcusable. Readers always, without exception, pass on scripts that have typos on page one. If the writer was too lazy to proofread the first page then readers assume that that person is also too lazy to turn in a quality product. If you feel that you’re incapable of proofreading because you’re too close to the project, hire someone who can or ask a friend. It’s better to annoy your buddy than to face premature rejection.

Don’t dedicate your script to anyone. If you wrote it for your dead dog, leave a copy on his grave, but don’t advertise it. When and if it’s produced and you have the lofty position of power to dedicate the movie to someone, do it then. Otherwise it will make you seem like a besotted newbie.

Never call for music. That means when your plucky girl lead finally leans in for that meaningful kiss on page 101, and you say in the action, “Brown Eyed Girl plays softly in the background” it better mean that something plot related is about to happen. The only acceptable time to call for music is when it’s integral to your story. For example in “ Sea of Love ” the song was part of the plot, it indicated the killer was approaching. If you want to match songs to script plot points, be a music supervisor. If you want to be a writer, focus on your story.

This is really a checklist of why most new writers get a pass. In future columns we’ll get into the deeper and more serious issues like character development and story arcs that are also reasons for a pass. The key is understanding a simple idea: this is a superficial business. And as such, if you make stupid, superficial errors you’ll never get sold.

If your script is clean, when it’s handed to a ruthless reader or an exhausted executive, then the special story that you slaved over will shine through and your work will be seen as it was intended. And look at it this way — if they do wind up passing, then at least you know they took you and your work seriously. And in most cases, those same professionals who did pass will be willing to look at other scripts in the future. You then have the limitless opportunity to cultivate relationships, ultimately creating the exact thing every new writer needs, contacts.

So, if you feel passionate about a story, write it. But be painstaking with your work prior to sending it out for review. Don’t make avoidable and grievous errors and your luck just might improve with those no-sayers. They just might utter a yes.

September 28th, 2009

William Safire – A Personal Memory of an Eloquent Writer

William Safire died yesterday. He was a wonderful writer and a man whose grammatical flair, his intense style and his sense of right and wrong I will always admire. When I read the news of his death, I was saddened, but reminded of my own personal connection to a man who helped shape my direction as a writer.

President_Bush_presents_William_Safire_the_2006_President_Medal_of_Freedom

It was the spring of 1992, my last semester of high school and I was studying Hamlet in AP English. We were forced to learn the whole “To Be or Not to Be” soliloquy by heart and as if that wasn’t tragedy enough for my teenage schedule, my English teacher, Mrs. Brown, gave the class what appeared to be a fairly straightforward assignment but would take me someplace I never anticipated.

The assignment: Mrs. Brown, gave the class a photocopied “article” written by William Safire that was a list of 20 Hamlet quotes. We were to correctly identify the act, scene, and line of each quote. Simple enough, right? I was able to easily identify 19 of the 20 quotes. I read Hamlet 15 times, by this point. No lie. 15 times. I scoured each line looking for the last quote, but nothing about it was familiar. No giveaways, no hints, no obvious character patois. It was a real puzzler.

No one else in my class could identify the last quote either. Being the industrious and brazen girl I’ve always been, I decided that if I was going to get number 20, I was going to have to go right to the source. Naturally, I did what any normal 17-year-old highschool senior would do, I called The New York Times and asked for some dude named “William Safire,” like he was just some sort of rookie desk jockey, not the respected, award winning journalist that he was.

The receptionist put me through to the Washington division, and then within a second, William Safire answered his own phone, just like he was a regular person. I introduced myself and explained my assignment. I asked if he would just please tell me the answer, after all, he would know, he wrote the thing! His tone was gravely serious. “No, I won’t tell you. That’s cheating.” That wasn’t quite the outcome I was hoping for.

He started off condescending. “Did you even read the play?” I explained I had read the play 15 times now, that coupled with all the re-skimming to find the quote. To prove myself, I even recited “To Be or Not To Be,” for him. He, unlike Mrs. Brown, clapped for me when I was done.

Safire said I was “charming” and then asked “do you know what a Concordance to Shakespeare is?” A Concordance to what? “Uh, no sir, I do not,” I replied. He told me to go the library, and there, I would find a book called A Concordance to Shakespeare. Contained inside this magical book would lie my answer. I should call him back when I have the answer that’s all he said. Like Bastion the young boy in The Never Ending Story, I was on a quest, to find a book that would provide the answer and save the world (well, the first of the two anyway).

Armed with theses instructions, I raced to the library, there I found the magical tome with the answers I sought. A Concordance to Shakespeare is an alphabetical list of every Shakespeare quote from every play, sonnet, anything he ever wrote. If you just know one line from something, you can look it up and voila, all the info you would ever need. And there it was the 20th quote in all its glory! Maybe there was something to this Safire guy after all!

That night at dinner my parents asked me about the William Safire assignment and had I found the 20th quote? I told them “Well yeah, I called The New York Times and spoke to William Safire” My step-mother, Eileen, nearly spit out her wine. My father almost choked. They wanted to know everything; had I spoken to him, what did he say, what was he like?

I couldn’t understand why they cared about some writer guy. My family was impressed with my tenacity, it took gumption to get a literary celebrity on the phone. A “literary celebrity?” Who, this Safire guy? As my family relayed his importance, I felt humiliated, I must have made a fool of myself in front the the prestigious Mr. William Safire.

The following day, I called back William Safire, he again answered his own phone. I told him his advice worked brilliantly and I thanked him for taking the time to help. He told me to hang in there, I told him I’d be going to NYU and he was sure I would do well as a writer.

Six months later, my father and step-mother were attending the White House Correspondence Dinner and found themselves standing next to William Safire at the bar. He was relaying a story of a ballsy high school girl who called him up once to ask for the answer to her homework. My parents looked at each other, as my step-mother interjected, “That was my daughter.” William Safire spent the evening with my parents, he was very nice and inquired about me. They told him how I was thriving at NYU and how happy I was. He was delighted.

Sometimes, as a writer (and as a person) you may not know the rules, and you brazenly run into a room only to have weapons turned on upon you at the doorway. William Safire taught me it was okay to know that I didn’t know. The spirit of asking questions, however potentially embarrassing, has been thoroughly instilled in the very fabric of my writery being.

And so, today, as I was on my Blackberry, the world’s information at my fingertips, I got word that William Safire died. Suddenly, I felt like it was 1992 all over again, and I was an unabashed high school student with nothing but promise and a willingness to get the job done regardless if I would embarrass myself. As I remember my brief encounter with him fondly, I can never discount the power of personal connection with a phenomenal talent; something for which I will be forever grateful. I’ll miss you, William Safire.

Thank you deeply for making me work for it.